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There's little room for reason, which makes it hard for partners to know how to be helpful.

No one is perfect, so sometimes the person you want to be with happens to have this illness.

It can be difficult to resist arguing about how they view themselves and their lives.

So the person you’re dating has admitted they have depression. You really don’t need to change how you treat them or dramatically alter your behaviour.

We’re fine with explaining how it feels to you, but it’s really not our job to educate you on mental illness and what causes depression. I don’t cry 24/7 and I doubt that many depressed people do. We know it’s not a big deal that we’ve lost our socks. It’s just our depression muddies up any excitement or joy we’d usually feel. So don’t assume we’ve magically cured ourselves of depression because we’ve told you we’ve been fine for the last few weeks. Actually expressing that we might need medication is deeply, deeply scary.

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" It's more like, "I basically feel awful about everything right now no matter what I do, and there's no external cause that's causing it, therefore, let me sleep."8. It doesn't work for everyone, but it does for lots of people.9.If you make me feel like a complete self-indulgent drag that's barely worth putting up with, my first move once I'm feeling up to it will be to dump your ass and find someone who knows I'm more than worthwhile. It’s painful to watch someone you care about suffer and not be able to help them.Don’t say you’re ‘depressed’ when you’re feeling sad. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. You don’t need to walk on eggshells or treat us like a delicate flower. Sometimes our down moments are prompted by something, sometimes they’re not. ’ Yes, we’re perfectly aware that there are people around the world without food and shelter.Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Sometimes it gets too much and we just come along to that big party/dinner with friends/lunch with your parents. We’re not being flaky, we just don’t feel like we can do it today. Please don’t endlessly question why we’re feeling so rubbish. We can feel great and think we’ve finally got through this one day, then find ourselves in a pretty dark place (in our minds. Medication can mess things up for a bit, as can, well, just being depressed. Each reason our life is brilliant feels like a little stab in our heart, asking: ‘why aren’t you happy? We feel awful about that, and we already feel like self-obsessed oversensitive arseholes for being miserable with our comparatively brilliant lives. And we don’t need anyone confirming our belief that we’re sh*tty people.




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