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My blog pages elaborate on this and asks if “kissing dating goodbye” is appropriate for all ages.

Temporarily “kissing dating goodbye” which could also be called postponing dating might be appropriate especially for younger teenagers.

Some men and women have publicly shared their negative experiences with “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” Some failed relationships even made .

Harris has invited other readers to share their stories through his website as he rereads his books and reconsiders his arguments.

If you were a conservative Christian in the 1990s and early 2000s, chances are you owned a copy of the bestselling “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” by Joshua Harris.

Harris was a celebrity within the homeschool community: a homeschool graduate, son of a prominent homeschool advocate, and the editor of a magazine for homeschoolers.

He was what we, as young evangelicals, wanted to be.

Harris’s writings provides a robust framework for why dating is the problem and courtship the solution.And Starbucks and Barnes & Noble are nowhere (penned when he was only 21), has caught the attention of hordes of young women of my generation—particularly those who are evangelical Christians.In his book, Harris encourages young Christians to look beyond our Western culture's dominant paradigm for developing serial intimate relationships (namely, the process of "dating") and instead commit to "purposeful singleness." Romantic relationships, he suggests, should exist only as a means to preparing for marriage—what's commonly called "courting." Harris avoids that quaint-sounding term in , but the idea is implicit in his promotion of relationships that emphasize long-term commitment and the supervision of the community of believers over and against traditional dating, which he feels emphasizes self-centered emotional and physical satisfaction.In a recent NPR article, Harris states that “when we try to overly control our own lives or overly control other people’s lives, I think we end up harming people … And yet, for me, the legacy of purity culture is not one of freedom but one of fear. Even Harris himself is asking to hear the conversation on his site, as he shares on his website that he has “heard a growing number of voices of people who have been hurt by [his books].” So where does this leave us? I firmly believe that the Word of God has placed clear boundaries on marriage being the commitment for sex.that’s part of the problem with my book.” The Washington Post followed up with a similar article in which a writer shares her story: I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. Kissing ‘Waiting’ Goodbye I most certainly gave up dating out of fear. For those who were affected by the tidal wave of copies of books by authors who championed for waiting, what are we to do? We need to begin in safe, vulnerable conversations. Just because we are ridding ourselves of the anxiety of waiting doesn’t mean that we give up all forms of God-honoring waiting for certain aspects of marriage.




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